Extract from a poem for the groom or bride that starts off cheekily and ends romantically (hopefully)

Let's think of tomorrow, not today.
Let's imagine all the time when our friends have gone away.
When the champagne’s lost its fizz
And the balloons have all deflated,
When the pictures have been taken
Of dad intoxicated,

The chinking of the glasses as we drink each other’s health
Can't beat my life to come with you, when I have you to myself.

Published 27th Aug 2016 | Weddings

Come to the Farm

Poem for Wellbeing Farm, a wonderfully unique party venue in Edgworth, near Bolton.

A coffee with Jenny, a croissant with Fay
A flick through the photos of your wedding day:
‘Hun, you look lovely’, the ‘oohs’ and the ‘ahhs’
The lush hotel gardens, the flowers, the cars.
And so to your friend’s pics … both of you pause
When you notice her photographs look just like yours!

The silver birch backdrop and manicured lawns.
The board to death aunties, stifling yawns.
The canapés handed around on a tray,
Little ones fed up with nowhere to play.
Lukewarm champagne and over-priced beer,
The Mr Cool DJ that no one can hear.
As Sally pours Co-Op milk in your latte,
You both wish you'd chosen a different party.

So don't be a sheep and follow the flock;
Choose something quirky to start your wedlock.
Come to the farm for your fun times and laughter.
Arrange all the bridesmaids on top of a tractor.
Cuddle a chicken and pose with a llama,
Put a cap on your grandad, pretend he's a farmer.
Dance in our barn to the sound of the band
Or take a long walk through our fields hand in hand.

So if sunsets and romantic scenes float your boat.
If you're not put off by the stare of a goat,
If you want a wedding that's not like the others
That's loved by the kids and adored by the mothers,
Then Wellbeing Farm is your kind of place:
For memories that last and a smile on each face.

Published 1st Sep 2016 | Weddings

For Kim & Chris 2019

For Kim & Chris

The outlook for the day is golden sunshine wall to wall.
No greying clouds are in the sky; no rain’s about to fall.
So while the forecast’s favorable and champagne glasses brim,
Come take a trip with me into the world of Chris and Kim.

It may sound quite the cliche, a poetic heart to heart,
But the problem, put quite simply, is exactly where to start!
A poem of serenity or verse that’s loud and jokey?
Less Chris’ quest for quietude; more Kim on karaoke.

It all began quite awkwardly as friendship turned to romance;
Chris’ friends could be forgiven for thinking he had no chance,
But soon enough, with ring in hand and undeterred expression
He moved towards the living room to hit Kim with the question.

So picture if you will the sunlight streaming through the window,
Our man with sweating palms rehearsing matrimony lingo.
The sparkler poised in fingers; the bended knee manouevre -
But Kim is more preoccupied with brand new Argos Hoover.

If you know Kim, you’ll be aware she likes a bit of cleaning;
A wizard with the Windolene, if no-one’s intervening.
But save a thought for Chris, whose body waited, stalled and trembled
As he stared upon his love’s attempts to get that thing assembled.

So lost inside that vacuum for an hour, maybe more
He contemplated life and thought of what there was in store:
A girl as strong as anyone with eyes and smile bewitching
Who’s a dab hand with a duster and knows how to shine a kitchen.

A scintillating firework with fireworks within
Mainly down to too much Rumtopf, aperol and gin.
And every day for years Kim’s face had occupied his head,
As only she knew how to disengage him from his shed.

Eventually Kim noticed him and quickly turned around,
Refusing though to throw the thing’s instructions to the ground.
And even though she realised how long he’d had to linger,
She held his gaze and grabbed the ring and stuck it on her finger.

So from that day to this, the time has rapidly unfurled:
Chris has spent it locked in shed and Kim at Slimming World,
And now before the lights dim and the music starts to play,
There’s one more stanza from my heart that I would like to say.

It’s easy to be trivial about your quirks and quaintness;
But much more fun to recognise your loveliness and greatness.
For on this day of days when friends and relatives are here
When both your smiles and tenderness ignite the atmosphere.
When magic, dreams and starlight surround us in excess,
We’re proud to call you friends, and wish you every happiness.

Published 25th Sep 2019 | Weddings